Judgment vs preference
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March 12th, 2022
Judging is a deeply rooted human survival technique. If you can’t judge whether the animal is safe or threatening, or if that water source is better than this one, then you die.
“Judgmental”, as it is commonly used, carries with it a strong negative connotation however. Which I believe is due to the fact that our “judgments” are being piggybacked by a sneaky little devil: projection.
Sometimes math helps me wrap my head around things…
[preference] + [projection] = [judgment]; do a little algebra and it can also be put like this:
[judgment] – [projection] = [preference]
Projection here can be thought of as “and you should too”.
It’s the tone of the “and you should too” that brings along the negativity. That turns a preference “judgemental”... because no one wants to be told what to do.
Friends of mine who read my posts have expressed the sentiment that I sometimes come across as “pushy”, that now and again I can project.
This is something that I’m deeply afraid of– coming across as “pushy”, like, because I am writing that I am on a moral high ground. And this is something that I reflect upon a lot.
My intention here is to share my reality, as it is being constructed in real time– not etched in stone for eternity, but rather written in chalk on the street corner. And not because I think “you should too”, but because I would prefer a world where we all shared more of our reality.
I am trying on ideas to see how they fit, feel, and look.
Exploring– but doing so “publicly” (80 subscribers, lol) which has been pretty exhilarating.
It’s my attempt to live out loud, trying not to hide.
So here I am, sharing preferences (hopefully) without projection.
And fuuuck would I love to hear, or read, about yours.
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